December Pensieve

Well, it's been quite some time since I posted last. The naps and shoes situations have since sorted themselves out. 

SEPTEMBER (and ongoing, I suppose)

Although it's been three months, I'm still grappling with all the new issues that arose as a result of moving schools and grade levels at the same time. I'm guessing that it's going to take me at least this year, and maybe the next one or two, to know the fifth grade curriculum and materials very well. This means knowing what is available to me and determining how best to use it, not that I am unable to comprehend the very subjects I'm required to teach. (...For some reason, I feel that explanation needed to be there, just in case.) That's what I miss most about teaching 4th grade: knowing the standards and having taught the lessons several times already to the point that I feel confident in most of what I do.

I'm very, very reflective on myself as a teacher. What I know about myself is I'm averse to tooting my own horn. (...Most of the time, that is.) While I am quick to come to my own defense when what I do is questioned by others, you will never hear me call myself a good teacher. That's not to say that I am horrible teacher, but I think so much in terms of what I could be doing better that I'm never comfortable with where I am at the present time. I don't know why that is; it's not like I've ever been told that I wouldn't succeed. Anytime that my supervisor comes in to observe me, I'm positive the follow-up meeting is going to be full of criticisms. However, the opposite usually holds true. (The one time I did think I had done well, I received an all but scathing review. Go figure.) I'm beginning to realize that I need to give myself more credit. 

OCTOBER (and beyond)

The parents at this school are something else, to say the least. I spent the last three years in schools that had little to no parent involvement. Now, I'm absolutely overwhelmed with parents willing to come in and help should I ever express the need for something. At the beginning of the school year I received no less than 20 reams of paper. If you've ever known a teacher, you should understand how big a deal that is. I have not yet taken anyone up on their offer of coming in to help out in the classroom outside the realm of holiday parties, though. I've run my class by myself for so long, I'm not quite sure how to comfortably delegate tasks. I'm also unwilling to let them in to what I feel is my private domain. 

Parents are involved here in more ways than one, this second example being the cause of many a headache. In October, I received 4 new students, all from other classrooms. There's a constant barrage notes, phone calls, administrative notifications, and emails concerning students' grades, assignments, behavior, and what I'm doing in my classroom. I do appreciate the parents' involvement in their child's studies, but I find the manner in which some (many, and not just in my class) choose to approach/discuss matters to be offensive and upsetting. I hate to play the I-have-insertnumberhere-other-students-in-my-class card, but there it is. I do not claim to know everything there is to know about kids, heck, I don't even have any of my own, but I do know a fair amount about what and how I'm teaching, and what works in my classroom. I could (and might) do an entire post on parents alone: the good and the bad. 

NOVEMBER

I feel like my students have been on some kind of holiday high since Veteran's Day. Although there have been several instances in these last 5 or 6 weeks where we've had to have 'come to Jesus' talks about my expectations and their responsibilities as students, I am happy with my class. 

I've got to take a minute to talk about the power of reading, and subsequently I guess, the influence of teachers. For the third time in my teaching career, I began reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to my class. For the first time in my teaching career, I actually read it through to the end. When I finished reading it, they actually clapped. I think their interest was driven in part by the British accent I used. While poor enough to revoke the dual citizenship I could have had as a child, it was authentic enough to keep the kids engaged and make them laugh. To hear parents say that their kid is now an avid reader due in part to my reading the book aloud makes me incredibly happy and legitimately smile. It is amazing to me to walk and observe during independent reading and see that at any given time, about half of my thirty students are reading one of the Harry Potter novels. Sure, they probably shouldn't be reading the sixth novel in the series if they haven't read the first four at least, but who am I to quell their interest in the boy wizard? 

Toot, toot! That's my horn you hear. I organized a Thanksgiving feast for our pod of classrooms and it was great! :) I even enlisted the help of a few parent helpers, including my own mom. 

DECEMBER

I could make a strong case that I spend as much, if not more, time planning, reflecting, grading, and conducting meetings than I do actually teaching. Being that it is the holiday season, here's a Christmas analogy: think of all the time and effort you put into prepping and cooking Christmas dinner or wrapping presents, and how little time it takes to eat the dinner and unwrap the presents. I don't know about you, but it seems to me that the times are a bit disproportionate. 

Today made me tired. Just about any free time that I had today was spent in meetings of some sort that mentally exhausted me. While I could delve into several of the above topics in much greater detail, I think I've divulged enough that my brain is a little less full and my headache is not as bad. 

Even though I constantly feel as though I'm never going to catch up and I've had a few more than a few days where I've wanted to rip my hair out and say what I'm really thinking, I can honestly say that I'm still (mostly) happy with where I am. I can also tentatively and surprisingly say that I enjoy teaching, which is not something that I felt last year. It's only December, and already I know that I'm going to miss (most of) the kids come June.

I’m looking forward to our pajama Polar Express holiday party on Friday. :) This’ll likely be the last of my entries this side of Christmas. Happy holidays!

Until next time...